"We Can Do Hard Things": From Podcast to Page-Turning Guide to Life’s Big Questions

An encounter with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle, the trio behind the award-winning podcast "We Can Do Hard Things," mirrors the intimacy and insightful conversations that define their popular show. As they introduce their new book, "We Can Do Hard Things: Answers to Life’s 20 Questions," it feels like stepping into a familiar space, a sanctuary where vulnerability is celebrated and difficult truths are explored with unwavering honesty. The book, available now, serves as a tangible extension of their podcast, which launched in 2021, encapsulating the wisdom and shared experiences that have resonated with millions.

The heart of "We Can Do Hard Things" lies in its willingness to tackle challenging subjects, venturing into the realms of mortality, existential anxieties, and the complexities of human relationships. Yet, the Doyles and Wambach approach these topics with a refreshing openness, transforming potentially daunting discussions into sources of comfort and empowerment. By sharing their personal struggles and hard-earned wisdom, they offer readers a roadmap for navigating the ongoing "home-improvement project" that is life.

Abby Wambach, the celebrated soccer icon, poignantly articulates her greatest fear: "The biggest and most fearful thing that I can think of, where all of my fear and worry and anxiety stems from … is the idea of what happens when we die." The loss of her older brother, Peter, in December 2023, undoubtedly heightened her awareness of mortality. "What I have learned is I have to accept that this is the thing that I will not understand, and it will also happen to me. My fear is being scared for my last moment."

Amanda Doyle, founder of Treat Media, offers a profound counterpoint, skillfully dissecting the essence of Abby’s fear. "That’s so interesting, Abby," she responds, "Because if you extrapolate from that, if you’re like, ‘My biggest fear is living my last moment scared,’ then it’s also like shouldn’t our biggest fear be living all of the moments scared?" Wambach readily agrees, acknowledging the pervasive nature of fear and its potential to overshadow daily life.

The book draws not only on the experiences and insights of the podcast’s hosts but also on the collective wisdom of esteemed guests who have graced the show, including Martha Beck, Brené Brown, Tracee Ellis Ross, Kamala Harris, Michelle Obama, Esther Perel, Gloria Steinem, and Kerry Washington. Their contributions enrich the book, providing diverse perspectives on the multifaceted challenges of life.

The impetus for creating the book stemmed from a period of intense personal hardship for the Doyle-Wambach family. As Glennon Doyle recounts, "Within a year, Amanda was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was diagnosed with anorexia, and Abby lost her brother Peter. We were really just spinning out all together at the same time, which hadn’t happened before." In the past, one of the three could typically serve as "the anchor for the others," providing support and stability. However, this convergence of crises necessitated the creation of an "anchor outside of ourselves," a resource that could offer solace and guidance during a turbulent time.

Structured around 20 existential questions, "We Can Do Hard Things" delves into the core issues that shape our lives. The book offers guidance and wisdom on fundamental queries like "Who am I really?" "How do I return to myself?" and "How do I let go?" It also examines a range of topics crucial to human experience, including love, sex, anger, forgiveness, and parenting.

Amanda Doyle emphasizes the importance of recognizing the universality of human struggles. "We’re all traveling as if we’re the first ones, but that is just so silly," she observes. When we perceive our challenges as "brand new," we tend to internalize them, attributing them to personal failings or shortcomings. However, by acknowledging that these struggles are shared experiences, we can alleviate the burden of self-blame and find comfort in the collective human journey. "We think the fact that I am struggling in my marriage, in this particular issue, means there’s something either wrong with me or wrong with my marriage, as opposed to having Michelle Obama saying — as she does in this book — the reason you’re struggling with that is because it’s the hardest thing on the planet to do."

Amanda also addresses the challenge of retaining the insights gained during times of adversity. "The things that I went through with my cancer where I was like, ‘Surely I’ll always remember that this is the point. Surely I will carry this deep reservoir of calm within my soul,’ and 30 seconds later it’s gone," she admits. The book, therefore, serves as a repository of hard-won wisdom, a place to store those fleeting moments of clarity and insight. "It was a place to put all of those things that were like, ‘Please, please let me not unlearn this thing. I know I will unlearn it, and so it’ll be here when I need to relearn it.’"

Wambach specifically highlights the chapter on parenting, emphasizing its relevance to her daily life. "A lot of us parents and our parents were taught that parenting is about the kids, and I actually think that parenting is about the relationship I have with myself first, before I go to my kids with anything parenting-wise. And that is what the wayfinders of this book, in this chapter, constantly remind me." She advocates for a self-aware and introspective approach to parenting, emphasizing the importance of cultivating a healthy relationship with oneself before attempting to guide and nurture children.

Glennon Doyle reiterates that her intentions for the book align with her previous work. She seeks to normalize the human experience, dispelling the notion that our deepest insecurities are unique to us. "What you think is your deep, personal shame is in fact the human experience," she asserts. "Most of the problems you think you have, you don’t have problems, you just have a life." Through vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to confront difficult truths, "We Can Do Hard Things" provides a lifeline to those seeking connection, understanding, and a renewed sense of hope in navigating the complexities of life.