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Love is Blind’s Sara and Ben: Political and Religious Differences Derail Altar Dreams
The Netflix reality show "Love is Blind" promises a unique journey to finding love, where contestants connect emotionally without ever seeing each other. The premise is simple yet compelling: can love truly be blind to physical appearance? For Sara Carton and Ben Mezzenga, the experiment revealed that perhaps love also struggles to thrive when confronted with significant differences in core beliefs and values, particularly concerning religion and politics. Their journey, which initially blossomed in the pods, ultimately crashed and burned at the altar, highlighting the challenges of building a lasting relationship on a foundation of differing worldviews.
Carton and Mezzenga connected deeply in the pods, developing a strong emotional bond that led to an engagement before ever laying eyes on one another. They were hopeful that their shared desire for a committed relationship would be enough to overcome any potential obstacles in the outside world. However, once the physical connection was established and the pressures of wedding planning mounted, cracks began to appear in their seemingly solid foundation. These fissures were not related to the superficial aspects of appearance or lifestyle, but rather ran deep into the core of their beliefs.
The primary source of conflict stemmed from Carton’s concerns about Mezzenga’s religious and political viewpoints. While the show focuses primarily on the romantic aspects of the relationships, the real world invariably seeps in, and for Sara and Ben, this intrusion took the form of difficult conversations about social issues and deeply held values.
According to Carton, Mezzenga’s apparent lack of engagement with pressing societal issues like Black Lives Matter was a major turning point. "I asked him about Black Lives Matter," Carton told her family after rejecting Mezzenga, "and I’m no expert, but when I asked him about it, he’s like, ‘I guess I never really thought too much about it.’ That affected me. Especially in our own city, like how could it not? How could it not make you think about something?"
Carton’s reaction underscores the growing importance of shared values in modern relationships, especially among younger generations. For many, it’s no longer enough to simply agree on basic lifestyle preferences; a shared understanding of social justice issues and a commitment to equality are becoming increasingly vital components of compatibility. Mezzenga’s seemingly indifferent response to Black Lives Matter signaled a fundamental difference in their perspectives on the world, one that Carton struggled to reconcile.
The conversation about religion further complicated matters. Carton, who had previously been religious, expressed concerns about Mezzenga’s church and its views on social issues, particularly concerning the LGBTQ+ community. "And he said he didn’t know, and so then I watched a sermon online, about sexual identity, and it was traditional," Carton explained. "I told that to Ben, and he didn’t really have much to say about it. I want someone to think about that stuff."
This reveals a critical disconnect in their communication. Carton sought a partner who was not only informed but also actively engaged in critical thinking about important social and ethical issues. Mezzenga’s lack of knowledge and seemingly passive acceptance of traditional views created a sense of unease for Carton, who sought a partner who could articulate their beliefs and engage in meaningful dialogue.
Earlier in the season, Mezzenga had told Carton that he had "no discomfort around that community at all," after Carton revealed that her sister is gay and that she was no longer religious because of the Catholic Church’s viewpoints on gay marriage. This initial assurance, however, apparently didn’t translate into a deeper understanding or a willingness to critically examine the issue.
Carton’s own political awakening coincided with the rise of Donald Trump and the events surrounding the death of George Floyd. "I’m kind of ignorant towards that stuff. Like, I didn’t vote in the last election. As long as I don’t know, it’s not gonna, you know, do much," Mezzenga reacted, admitting he’d been "staying out of it." This further highlighted the disparity in their engagement with the world and their willingness to actively participate in shaping society.
At the altar, the culmination of their whirlwind romance, Carton made her decision. "I love you so much, but I’ve always wanted a partner to be on the same wavelength," she said, lamenting the lack of "curiosity coming from his side." The decision was undoubtedly difficult, but ultimately reflected a realization that their fundamental differences were too significant to overcome, despite the deep connection they had forged in the pods.
Sara and Ben’s experience serves as a cautionary tale about the importance of open and honest communication about values and beliefs, even in the early stages of a relationship. While "Love is Blind" encourages couples to connect on a deeper level before focusing on superficial aspects, it also underscores the importance of aligning on fundamental values to ensure long-term compatibility.
The show also highlighted similar dynamics in another couple, Virginia Miller and Devin Buckley, who also navigated politically charged conversations. Miller expressed her willingness to be open to different views, but cautioned that it would be problematic if Buckley was "way on the other side of the spectrum" on certain issues. This underscores the point that while some differences can be bridged, vast divergences in political and social values can create insurmountable challenges in a relationship.
In the end, Sara Carton’s decision to prioritize her values over the initial spark she felt with Ben Mezzenga highlights the evolving landscape of modern relationships. As societal issues become increasingly prominent, shared values and a commitment to critical thinking are becoming essential components of compatibility, proving that love, even when blind, cannot always conquer all. Their story is a poignant reminder that while initial attraction and emotional connection are important, a shared vision for the future and a common understanding of the world are crucial for building a lasting and fulfilling partnership.
