Ione Skye Opens Up About Toxic Romance with Anthony Kiedis and Healing Through Stardom

Ione Skye, the actress best known for her breakout role in the 1989 cult classic Say Anything, is pulling back the curtain on her tumultuous past in a new memoir, Say Everything. At 54, Skye is ready to share her experiences with love, loss, and the challenges of navigating fame in Hollywood. One of the most compelling narratives within her book is her account of a relationship with Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis, a romance that began when she was just 16 and he was 24.

Their connection was instantaneous and intense. As Skye describes it, they became "instantly full-blown, instantly enmeshed." Kiedis, fresh out of rehab at the time, captivated the young actress. However, the allure quickly faded as Kiedis continued his battle with heroin addiction. This created a toxic environment that would significantly impact Skye’s formative years.

The relationship coincided with Skye landing her pivotal role in Say Anything, a film that would catapult her to stardom. In a recent interview with Fox News Digital, Skye credited the film with helping her cope with the emotional turmoil of her relationship. "I think doing ‘Say Anything’ was one of my saviors, and keeping contact with some of my friends," she revealed. Work and friendships provided a refuge from the chaos at home.

Skye recalled feeling immense pressure and shame during that time. As a teenager, she found herself in the position of caring for an adult struggling with severe addiction. She felt compelled to hide the true extent of the situation from those around her. "I felt embarrassed that I was in this situation. I felt this instinct to not let people know how bad it was," she explained. "I was just a wreck at the time. I was so scared. I think it rattled me for years."

To cope with the stress, Skye admitted to numbing herself emotionally when she was with Kiedis. Work became her escape. "I . . . numbed out when I was with him. And when I was working, I would fall out and be happy again. I think that’s how I coped with it." Maintaining connections with supportive friends also proved crucial in navigating the difficult period.

In her memoir, Skye explores the evolution of her feelings for Kiedis. Her initial "falling for Anthony phase" quickly transitioned into a "saving for Anthony phase." She found herself consumed with worry and actively searching for him during his drug binges. Skye detailed the desperate measures she took, including driving around late at night to his usual haunts, such as "the market where he bought bleach for his needles" and "that apartment . . . where his favorite dealer lived with his grandma." The constant anxiety took a toll on her well-being, leading to panic attacks whenever Kiedis was home from touring.

Skye realized that her need to save Kiedis had become an addiction in itself. It took considerable time and self-reflection before she recognized the unhealthy dynamic. "Finally, I realized, ‘I don’t need to take care of him, it’s not my job. I’m not a nurse,’" she recounted. "I really had that moment where I [realized] I’m not a nurse. That was the thought that came to mind: This isn’t my job. And then I just . . . snapped out of it."

However, breaking free from the relationship did not immediately resolve her emotional wounds. Skye confessed that she struggled to cope with the experience effectively. "I hid. I didn’t really cope with it very well. I just . . . didn’t let people know how bad it was. And then finally, I broke free."

Skye also shared that her family disapproved of the relationship. Her mother, model Enid Karl, and her brother, actor Donovan Leitch, expressed their concerns about her involvement with Kiedis. "The tension between my brother and my boyfriend was thick and smoggy. We all needed some fresh air," Skye wrote. "My mother and my brother were not happy about it. [My mother] also felt bad for Anthony. She was a mother, and he was still a young person to her who had a problem. But she definitely didn’t want me involved like that. And that was the most worried she’d ever been about me."

Despite her mother’s apprehension, Skye was determined to pursue the relationship. "There wasn’t much she [could’ve done], because I moved in with him. She wasn’t great about putting her foot down, although she did not want me to do that," she said.

In 2021, the relationship resurfaced on TikTok, prompting Skye to share her perspective publicly and set the record straight. She felt compelled to defend her mother from criticism. "I felt protective of my mom," she explained. "I didn’t like them saying, ‘How could she?’ because she tried to talk to me, but there wasn’t much she could have done to stop me. But she tried having conversations with me. I was defiant. I wasn’t mean to my mom. I wasn’t like, ‘Screw you,’ or anything. I spoke to her nicely, but I was very determined, for some strange reason."

Kiedis previously addressed the relationship in his 2004 memoir, Scar Tissue. Skye felt it was important to offer her own narrative. "People would want to know my side of the story," she stated. In her book, Skye acknowledges that Kiedis "wasn’t my great love." However, she initially believed that her love could somehow fix him, a notion that ultimately proved false.

After slowly distancing herself from Kiedis, Skye met Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys at age 18. She described him as "the first great love of my life." They married in 1992 when she was 21, but the marriage ended in divorce in 1999. Skye described herself as "a serial cheater" during that time.

Reflecting on her relationship with Horovitz, Skye expressed remorse for the pain she caused him. "I’ll always feel sad if I hurt him, which I probably did at times," she said. "Every decade, I get closer and closer to letting go and learning how to grieve and mourn the loss of such a big figure in my life who became a family member. It’s sort of like a death. But every decade, I like to work on myself, and I like to process [it], try to get as healthy as I can mentally about things. But it’s been a very slow process."

Writing her memoir has been a therapeutic experience for Skye. "Writing was another step of seeing the story from the outside, and it helped," she explained. "I forgive myself, because I couldn’t stop myself at the time. Now . . . I know myself. I have more awareness and self-control . . . I am not pulled by my emotions the way I was when I was a younger person."

Even now, Skye finds it difficult to listen to the Beastie Boys, as it brings back painful memories of the breakup. "It’s not that I want to be back with him," she clarified. "I still have complicated feelings of remorse for what occurred. But it’s getting better. And the book has helped."

Skye has since found lasting love with Australian rocker Ben Lee, whom she married in 2008. They have a 15-year-old daughter together. Before meeting Lee, Skye had a daughter with interior designer David Netto. When she met Lee she wanted to ensure a stable and happy life for her child, “I already had a kid [with interior designer David Netto] when I met Ben, so I was doing everything I could to make her life safe and happy – she was my number one,” she explained.

Skye emphasized the importance of trust and maturity in her current relationship. "I wanted someone I could trust. And I was getting older. I was maturing. I was no longer pulled by all these desires the same way. I tried to work on myself through all the years. I knew I liked being married, but how do I do that for real? Without blowing it up?" Although her previous relationships were with musicians, Skye approached her relationship with Lee differently. "Yes, he’s a musician – all my big relationships, that was something in common," she continued. "But I did want to go slow. And it was about having a big talk with myself. I just thought, ‘I could do this. I don’t know how, but just try to open your mind and be different.’ I didn’t know how to do it, but I was willing."

With Say Everything, Skye hopes to offer readers a message of self-compassion. "Be less – as most people would say – hard on yourself," she advised. "I thought you have to know everything right away. That was a lesson I had to learn. Don’t put so much pressure to know everything and do everything perfectly." Her memoir serves as a testament to the power of healing, self-discovery, and the importance of granting oneself grace in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.