Kitchen Chaos: Reddit Divided Over Girlfriend’s Friend’s Cooking Request

A Reddit user found himself in a sticky situation when a friend of his girlfriend made an unusual request: to use their kitchen. The user, identified as Pikachu930, took to the popular online forum to vent his frustration and seek advice, sparking a lively debate among commenters.

"I barely know her, and it’s not like it’s an emergency," Pikachu930 wrote, setting the stage for the conflict. The request itself was straightforward: the friend wanted to cook in their kitchen. However, the circumstances surrounding the request and the girlfriend’s reaction added layers of complexity to the situation.

What particularly irked Pikachu930 was his girlfriend’s seemingly enthusiastic response. "My girlfriend told me we should feel honored that her friend asked us instead of someone else," he explained. This sentiment struck him as entitled, as if they were obligated to grant the request out of flattery.

Adding to the user’s annoyance was the fact that the friend resided in a dorm and possessed a meal plan. "It’s not like she doesn’t have options," he pointed out. The friend’s motivation stemmed from a dislike of her dorm kitchen, which she deemed "too gross."

Furthermore, the nature of the request felt impersonal and transactional to Pikachu930. "It wasn’t like, ‘Hey, want to cook together sometime?’ or ‘Could we hang out and cook?’" he emphasized. "It was literally, ‘Can I use your kitchen to cook my own food?’ That’s it. No invitation to connect or spend time together – just a one-way request to use our space."

Pikachu930 disclosed that he was the primary user of the kitchen, responsible for the majority of cooking and cleaning. "I do almost all the cooking and the dishes, so it feels like my personal space in the house," he wrote. "It’s not just a shared utility room to me. It’s where I do something I actually enjoy and take care of both of us. So letting someone else use it, especially someone I don’t know well, isn’t something I’m automatically cool with."

His girlfriend, however, dismissed his concerns as an overreaction and accused him of being rude towards her friend. Pikachu930 questioned whether he was being overly sensitive, acknowledging that he might have been more amenable to a one-time request.

But the friend’s proposal extended beyond a single cooking session. She intended to use the kitchen "for a whole week, including sharing our refrigerator space," to prepare meals such as chicken breast and avocado toast. This extended timeframe amplified Pikachu930’s discomfort.

The Reddit community overwhelmingly sided with Pikachu930, deeming him "not the a–hole" for wanting to protect his kitchen space. Many users criticized the friend’s request as unreasonable and entitled. "The so-called friend needs to bite the bullet and clean her own kitchen," one user commented.

Another commenter expressed astonishment at the request, stating, "She can batch-cook the chicken in an hour, she can make avocado freaking toast in her dorm kitchen — that’s absurd. This is a ridiculous request that makes no sense at all. Say no."

However, a dissenting voice emerged, suggesting that the request was "a pretty normal request." The commenter reasoned that "dorm kitchens are terrible for people who actually enjoy cooking" and speculated that the friend might be "a really excellent cook" or that the girlfriend was complimenting their kitchen. They also acknowledged that the final decision rested with Pikachu930.

The commenter further suggested that the friend might simply miss cooking as an outlet since moving into the dorm. "Assuming she’s respectful of the space and cleans up after herself, it would be kind to let her use your kitchen," they wrote. "But you would not be an a–hole if you declined to invite her into your space."

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Texas, weighed in on the matter, agreeing with the sentiment that the choice ultimately belonged to Pikachu930. "Offering a part of your house, whether it’s the kitchen or a spare bedroom, is a courtesy and a kindness when it’s temporary," she told Fox News Digital. "Using someone’s kitchen over and over again, without offering to compensate in any way, is simply rude. It’s taking advantage of the friendship."

Gottsman emphasized the importance of reciprocation, suggesting that the friend should "offer some sort of compensation, either financially or by taking them out to eat occasionally."

She advised the girlfriend to "set some guidelines and boundaries" and to avoid overexplaining the reasons for her discomfort. "You don’t have to go into big detail about why you don’t want this other person to inconvenience you. It’s obvious," Gottsman said.

Gottsman characterized the friend’s request as "stretching the friendship" and "straining her relationship with her boyfriend." She added, "I would also add that it’s a big ask for a friend to borrow another friend’s kitchen over a period of time without offering some type of kindness in return. It would not be inappropriate to feel taken advantage of, and for the sake of the friendship, boundaries must be put into place."

The Reddit saga of Pikachu930 and the kitchen-borrowing friend highlights the complexities of navigating interpersonal relationships and setting boundaries. While the girlfriend’s friend might have had good intentions, her request raised questions about entitlement, reciprocity, and the importance of respecting personal space. The overwhelming support for Pikachu930 on Reddit suggests that many people value their kitchens as more than just utilitarian spaces and are wary of sharing them with unfamiliar individuals for extended periods. The case serves as a reminder of the importance of clear communication, mutual respect, and the need to establish boundaries to maintain healthy relationships.