The Mother of a Prodigy: Kelly Flagg on Raising a Basketball Star
The roar of the crowd, the relentless chants, the intense pressure – these are the elements that define the world of elite college and professional sports. For Kelly Flagg, this world became a reality much earlier than expected, when her son, Cooper Flagg, began attracting attention as a basketball prodigy in eighth grade. Now, with Cooper poised to lead Duke University and potentially become the top pick in the upcoming NBA draft, Kelly shares her experiences as a "sports mom" navigating this extraordinary journey.
Kelly Flagg isn’t just a spectator; she’s a former athlete herself, having led the University of Maine women’s basketball team to its first NCAA Tournament victory in 1999. She and her husband, Ralph, a former basketball player at Eastern Maine Community College, instilled a love of sports in their three sons – Cooper, his twin brother Ace, and their older brother Hunter. While they never dreamed of NBA stardom for their children, they embraced the opportunities that sports provided for growth, teamwork, and passion.
"As a former athlete myself, I wanted to hope that I would have kids that would be into sports and love it as much as I did," Kelly recalls. "All three of our boys really enjoyed basketball, but they played all sports. They played football, they played soccer, baseball. I had one kid that did track so we were all over the place when they were younger. It’s playing on multiple teams at the same time and just running from field to court to gym. That’s just what our family did."
Cooper’s exceptional talent quickly became apparent, propelling him to national recognition as the Maine Gatorade Player of the Year as a freshman and later as the Gatorade National Player of the Year at Montverde Academy in Florida. With Cooper’s rise, Kelly found herself thrust into the spotlight as well, becoming known for her passionate support of her son and his team.
However, the intensity of college basketball fandom can be overwhelming, and Kelly has had her share of encounters with hecklers and opposing fans. During a regular-season game against North Carolina, her celebratory gesture after one of Cooper’s dunks went viral, sparking both praise and criticism.
"People often go over the line and don’t recognize in the moment when they’re being unsportsmanlike, I guess," she admits, acknowledging that she, too, may have crossed the line at times. "And I’m sure I’ve been guilty of that as well."
Despite the occasional hostility, Kelly has learned to navigate the challenges of being a "sports mom" with grace and humor. She understands that opposing fans will try to rattle Cooper, but she finds solace in the fact that he thrives under pressure.
"Every gym that he goes into, the other team, the opposing fans, are going to obviously try to rattle him and get under his skin," she explains. "And it’s happened just about everywhere. But he doesn’t get bothered at all. I love that."
More than anything, Kelly emphasizes the importance of supporting the entire team, not just her son. "I am very, very passionate. I want the whole team to succeed," she says. "It’s not just about my son, but I’ve grown to really care about all these boys, and I just love supporting all of them."
As a former youth coach, Kelly recognizes the delicate balance between providing support and allowing children to navigate the ups and downs of sports on their own. She encourages parents to respect the coaches and their decisions, and to avoid pressuring their children to be perfect.
"I think the biggest thing is letting your kids fail," she advises. "Learning to fail sometimes is the greatest motivator. It’s OK to make mistakes, because that’s how we learn and also keeps them hungry for the next opportunity. Don’t expect them to be perfect. And also, respecting the coaches and what their job is. It’s a really difficult job, and so I’ve always tried not to talk to coaches, like telling them, ‘Oh, you should play my kid more,’ or, ‘You should do this,’ or whatever. Unless they ask my opinion, of course."
Reflecting on the years spent shuttling her sons to practices and games, Kelly acknowledges the challenges and sacrifices involved. However, she also emphasizes the importance of cherishing those moments and capturing them through photos and videos.
"When we’re busy and we’re running around, being like, ‘Oh, not another practice, not another early morning, drive two hours away for three games and it’s taking up my whole weekend,’ but enjoy every minute of it," she urges. "Take lots of video and lots of pictures. I didn’t. Part of that because I was coaching, and I missed a lot of those opportunities. It doesn’t last very long."
Above all, Kelly is most proud of Cooper’s character and compassion. "I’m most proud of who he is as a person, beyond him as an athlete and as a basketball player," she says. "He really is as kind and compassionate as he appears to be. And it’s so nice to hear from other people that have met him or interacted with him, and they tell me, like, ‘He’s such a genuinely good person. He cares about the people he meets.’ You know, a lot of the people at Duke are telling me. It’s amazing. Like, he treats everyone with respect, from managers to the coaches to his teammates, and for me as a mom, like, there’s no better compliment to hear, like, that he’s a good person, and that counts."
As Cooper embarks on the next chapter of his basketball journey, Kelly will continue to be his unwavering supporter, celebrating his successes and offering encouragement during challenges. She reminds parents to "love your kid. You only get one shot at this, and it goes by so fast."
