Carnie Wilson, the voice behind Wilson Phillips’ iconic anthem "Hold On," has transformed the song’s message into a personal crusade, championing individuals silently battling various health challenges. Speaking candidly from her Los Angeles home, Wilson, 57, emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, drawing from her own experiences with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
"I was my own advocate," Wilson states, "that had to advocate for my own depression and anxiety and OCD. I suffer from these things, and they’re not debilitating for me." However, she acknowledges a darker period when these conditions overwhelmed her, leading to isolation and substance abuse. "They were at some point, and that’s why I think I was hiding in a closet drinking vodka. I believe it was debilitating. And then it really became debilitating when I was suicidal."
Now celebrating over two decades of sobriety, Wilson, daughter of Beach Boys legend Brian Wilson, uses her platform to raise awareness and dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health. Her latest endeavor involves partnering with Neurocrine Biosciences on the "Connecting with Carnie" initiative, which aims to support individuals living with tardive dyskinesia (TD).
TD, an involuntary movement disorder, can arise as a side effect of medications used to treat mental health conditions. It affects over 800,000 Americans, with a staggering 60% remaining undiagnosed. These involuntary movements can significantly impair a person’s quality of life. Wilson hopes to empower those affected by TD to seek help and emerge from the shadows of isolation.
"I want to be the catalyst for them to come out of the shadows and open up and seek treatment," she asserts, drawing parallels between her own journey and the challenges faced by TD patients. Wilson knows all too well the desire to hide and conceal vulnerability.
Wilson’s empathy stems from her personal battles with addiction and mental health. "When I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, I remember that feeling of just wanting to hide and not show my vulnerability, that I needed help," she reflects.
TD can manifest in various ways, affecting the tongue, lips, eyes, feet, and other body parts. This can compound existing mental health struggles. Psychiatrist Dr. Greg Mattingly, president of the American Professional Society for ADHD and Related Disorders, highlights the stigma associated with TD. "One of the things that’s hard about it is this movement looks abnormal," he explains. "It’s noticeable and tends to be very stigmatizing."
The shame and self-consciousness associated with TD can lead individuals to withdraw from social activities and isolate themselves. "People will avoid going out to restaurants on account of the shame," Dr. Mattingly notes. He emphasizes that TD is more than just a tremor; it’s an involuntary movement that can severely impact a person’s life. "It’s an involuntary movement that’s causing people to become isolated, to become increasingly withdrawn and stop doing things that used to give them pleasure."
While there is currently no cure for TD, certain medications, such as Ingrezza, can help manage the symptoms. Dr. Mattingly stresses the importance of monitoring for atypical symptoms when taking psychiatric medications.
Wilson acknowledges that mental health journeys are rarely straightforward. For her, the ultimate goal is not necessarily happiness, but rather balance. "The goal is not happiness," she says. "The goal for me is balance."
Throughout her life, Wilson has felt different, often seeking comfort in food and sugar. Underlying this was a mild, chronic depression. Both her father, Brian Wilson, and her maternal grandmother have struggled with depression. Brian Wilson also has schizoaffective disorder.
Wilson expresses immense admiration for her father’s resilience. "I’ve watched him really overcome so much, just so so much," she says, adding that she loves him "more than anything in the world." She describes him as "the strongest person I know."
Wilson encourages anyone experiencing mental health concerns or symptoms of conditions like TD to seek professional help. "My father did seek help with his own mental illness, and he’s come to a great place," she emphasizes. "He found the right medication for him that has helped the voices in his head, his own depression and I find a lot of similarities in me. I see myself in him in many ways, and that’s sort of driven by fear, but a lot of drive and a lot of will to survive and connect with people. Like father, like daughter."
Amidst her advocacy work, Wilson is also navigating the chaos of a home remodel with her husband, musician Rob Bonfiglio, and their two daughters, Lola, an "American Idol" contestant, and Luci. Despite the hectic environment, Wilson remains optimistic. "It’s been a little hectic around here," Wilson says, "crazy, (with) two kids, dogs, and, you know, life, there’s a lot happening, but this is a very exciting time."
By sharing her own struggles and advocating for others, Carnie Wilson embodies the powerful message of "Hold On," transforming a beloved song into a beacon of hope and empowerment for those navigating the complexities of mental and physical health challenges.
